02/12/2019

Instead of waking up to Alexa telling me to get up at 6am, I’m actually awoke by a steady rocking noise…

It’s actually 2am and it’s not Alexa, but London…

She has rocked the couch into the middle of the floor…

I keep telling the doctors I don’t want my child to live on Melatonin for the rest of her life, there has to be another way…

Next Stop, Sleep Specialist…

02/11/2019

We are days away from Valentine’s Day and I think this year may be the worst one yet.

This will be the 1st year that we will not be able to afford a proper vday…

At least to my standards…

Date night postponed until summer I guess.

02/10/2019

Have you ever been so scared to do something that it makes you physically ill just thinking about having to do it?

Ever felt like no matter how prepared you are to do something, you can’t stop telling yourself that you have no idea what your doing?

My anxiety is on over drive today, its like i’m stuck and can’t move…

02/07/2019

Motherhood; is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong. -Donna Ball

02/06/2019

I had my first few moments of regret that I would no longer be able to have children…

It was really weird…

I think I cried for the first time in a very long time since being on my anti-depressants…

Not sure if I was more sad that I couldn’t have anymore; that it wasn’t an option or the uncertainty of whether or not I made the right decision…

Then I woke up.

2/05/19

The kids were so bad today…

It’s always fun when your driving and you have one kid hanging from the “oh shit bar” and another attempting to climb in the 3rd row…

Then you get a sippy cup thrown at your head…

You pull over and put them back in their seats…

then they begin screaming & hitting each other even though they have an empty seat between them…

Now your threatening to pull over because your at a light and can’t at that moment…

They are actually louder than the news on the radio…attempting to see who can sing the loudest…

Finally, get to daycare and they unbuckle themselves again and climb in the back… I go to the back to get them out and they climb to the front… ahhhhhh!!!!

It’s one of those days that you rush them into daycare and can’t wait to just get outta there as quickly a possible even without a kiss goodbye…

Then you get to your truck… and cry…

02/04/19

Even I have rough days… Remember I do struggle with depression/anxiety… def not an excuse…

Sometimes I don’t want to write anything on here because I don’t have anything nice to say… mom always said if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all…

Currently I think I am just mad at the world for being so damn hard… Everyone around me is so darn happy and what the heck is wrong with me, I have everything in world to be happy about but…

All I can think about is stress… money issues…job issues…just life sucking in general…today is a bad day…

02/03/19

So I have to tell you, I was listening to a podcast yesterday which I like to do in my truck from time to time…

I’m not going to say which one but I can tell you that this person is a “self-made” millionaire with tons of followers…

I started listening to this person a few weeks ago when I was looking for a new podcast… and I went back to listen to some of their older podcast episodes…

I really started to like how they were, and talked, and I felt that I could resonate with them, so of course naturally I decided to join their email list…

Then I was prompted to join a webinar, which I don’t always do because of the timing but it so happened I had the time available and it was starting within a few minutes…

I’m rambling I know but I have to give a little background on how we got here…

I go into the webinar which is about growing your email list… ok great… it was interesting… this person had a lot of great tips and points… I am like a sponge and love learning new things!

So then “they” dropped the bomb… of course like most webinars, the whole point is to give a “taste or teaser” then end with the sale of a product…

This person actually had the “gumption” to say that (pause: I am not wording this exactly how they did but you will get the jist) there are “2” types of people blah blah …1st type being shy, withdrawn, “non-buyers” basically saying that they would not purchase…

Then they said “I don’t want to work with these people”

She went on to say, “those people will be the ones dropping out of the webinar now” — OMG!

There was at least 275 people in the webinar… of course I saw no one leave the “room”

I was utterly shocked that this came out of “their” mouth… I think it might have been the rudest thing I have ever heard (not really, but it’s up there)

So I WANT TO KNOW… Who would say this? How could this be acceptable?

I understand, being a business owner, there can be many parts of it that can be challenging, especially when dealing with “people” but GOSH really, who says that?

Who are “we” “you” “them” to judge or assume what someones situation is as to why they would not purchase your product?

I am certainly not shy or withdrawn and I knew before I logged in I was not going to purchase, that has nothing to do with WHO I am as a person…

Don’t worry, after that, I would not want to work with “you” either…

It makes me sick to know that someone “REAL” & respectful, like myself is busting their boo-tay to make their businesses successful and there is “this person” whom is successful and treats their possible, “future” clients and/or followers like TRASH!

“This Person” should be ashamed of themselves!

02/02/19

So I was in Aldi today… It’s Saturday and it’s my grocery shopping day…

My daughter was with me… we were standing in line to check out…

On Saturday’s this place can be so packed and chaotic…

There was a mother and her 2 children in front of me…

When the clerk had given her the total of her bill, she told her that she did not have enough money… She then proceeded to start handing the clerk items to void...

I could visibly see that the clerk was being less than helpful and acted annoyed…

The mother, was mortified and kept apologizing to me… Of course I was not bothered by this at all, I was actually fighting back tears…

I wished that I could give her the extra $20 that she needed to cover the bill but I, myself is living on a budget tighter than my pants, so there was nothing I could do :( …

The man behind me was shuffling, grunting and sighing heavily as a long line had formed behind us… I wanted to turn around and say why don’t you stop being a jerk and hand over $20 you rich a$#hole!

But she finally finished and left, not without apologizing to me and everyone behind me, AGAIN…

Sometimes, I just wonder when “we” became so dispassionate as a society…

Using Health & Diet to Fight Depression

I know that saying this is wayyy easier than actually doing this but it’s truly possible.

I don’t know if you ever noticed when you are on a diet and eating healthy, that you “feel better.”

Ever think there is some truth behind this?

For me, I know Y’all have heard me say that this is one “big cycle” and when your depressed (at least in my case) you want to eat poorly because you are stressed out or want to feel better or both.

we need to break this cycle! now i’m sounding like an 80’s song …

Now, I am definitely not saying to not take your meds or see your doctor…not at all..heck you NEED a support system…

What I am saying is that the road to feeling better can be a long one and focusing on your diet & health can really help…

5 Small Steps You Can Take To Start Feeling Better

  1. Yoga
  2. Walking
  3. Staying Hydrated
  4. Sleep
  5. Taking a Multi-Vitamin

Yoga

Ok, I know your thinking, really? How is yoga gonna help my depression…

Don’t knock it till you try it…

Depression has a way of sucking the life out of you. It mentally and physically drains you – every bit

Yoga helps with a variety of issues:

  • relaxing
  • meditation
  • fatigue
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • strength
  • posture
  • energy

There is so many more but I think you get the just…the best part about it is there is soooo many ways now that you can take 5 minutes and just do it!

I have a Fitbit Versa (love love love) and it has all kinds of neat gadgets that help me incorporate this into my daily routine without even thinking about it.

Walking

This is my favorite past time.

My biggest issue is taking the time out of my extremely hectic day to actually do it.

But if your anything like me, I can get my headphones on, get my current book rolling and dive deep into my thoughts…

Walking is great for your mind, body & soul…

You may not lose weight doing it but it keeps you active & healthy.

Staying Hydrated

Your Body Needs Water!

This is a no-brainer… water has so many benefits:

  • flush out toxins
  • boost energy levels
  • improve digestion
  • relieves headaches
  • promote weight loss
  • cleanses the liver
  • healthy skin
  • strong hair & nails

The list goes on.

Its simple people, drink water = feel better.

Sleep

Ok now also an easy one. I’m not talking the wake up every hour because my baby is crying or watch law and order until the wee hours of the morning then fall asleep sleep…

Im talking “real” restful sleep…

  • Sleep helps your memory
  • puts you in a better mood
  • reduces depression
  • helps with weight
  • improves energy
  • strengthens your immune system
  • reduces stress

and on and on I could go…

If you are not sure how to get this restful sleep, try some of these suggestions…

  1. soothing sounds
  2. read a book
  3. limit screen time
  4. yoga
  5. chamomile tea
  6. make your bedroom for sleeping (this is def my struggle)

Now that I gave you some awesome ideas, go start making your new bedtime routine a reality & Get some good sleep!

Taking a Multi-Vitamin

You may have not known this or maybe you did, but vitamin deficiencies can actually cause depression.

By identifying these deficiencies and taking the supplements your body needs could be a step in the right direction on the long road back…

I could give you a bunch of different amazing supplements that you could take but every person is different and you honestly need to do some research to find what works for you…

Some deficiencies that cause depression are…

  • Folate
  • Zinc
  • Selenium
  • Omega 3- Fatty Acids
  • Magnesium
  • Vitamin D
  • Iron
  • Iodine

So now that you know, what are you going to do about it?

One small step is a step in the right direction.

Please don’t forget, I would love to hear your stories. Share with me anytime. Contact me here!